Happy New Year!

   Happy 2012! I'm excited about this year because it brings my hubby home for good to the boys and I. This year has had a lot of challenges for this deployment. However, I made some career advancements and I've learned once again I can do these deployments and I'm so grateful to have the relationship I do with Jesus to get me through the good and the bad. I'm also so proud of my hubby for staying strong and doing his job the best he can. The boys have really grown too at school and in just being part of a military family.

   This morning the boys and I went to visit a friend from church when I was growing up and now a military wife herself as well. She and her husband have two little girls and they are going through their first deployment. It was nice to catch up with her and discuss military life. Then this afternoon another friend and her kids came to my parents house to catch up some more. This evening we took it easy and watched the Polar Express. We needed a night to relax after all our visiting the past week. Two more days here in Pa and then we head back home to Ok.

Old Times

   Today was about friendship, specifically my childhood through school days of friendships. This morning I visited a friend that I knew when I was my boys age. We grew up going to each others houses and having sleepovers. We went through a lot in life and life has taken us in different directions but it was neat to get together together and now have our kids playing together.
   This evening I had a mini high school reunion with some girl and guy friends. There was this crew that my sister ran around with more than me and at some point I got included. It always happened that I was a fifth wheel because there were lots of couples and then me. It seems this hasn't changed, in the fact that Adam is usually not with me for one reason or another when we meet up again. Anyways, it was nice to all be together again and relive some memories and discuss the current happenings in our lives. It's amazing where life takes you.
   And the boys got to have a sleepover at their cousins house which they were looking forward to all week. I'm sure they had a lot of fun.

Fun with Family and Friends

   Another day of visiting and fun. This morning we went to visit a friend that we hung out with a lot during our last deployment when we lived in the area. It was nice to have some adult catching up and it was fun for the boys to get to play with her children. Then this afternoon we got together with the boys' cousins and went to a play area. This evening the ladies and I had a time of catching up and dinner. Overall another great day of visiting and relaxing with family and friends.

Cousins

   This evening I'd like to think my Grandma Sauder had a front row seat from heaven to watch some of us girl cousins fellowship, eat, and play spoons. I remember our slumber parties with fondness. It was nice to see my cousins and catch up some. My one cousin was in from North Carolina so we decided to try and meet up. Thankful for fb to keep us up to date these days but it's always nice to have some face to face fellowship. Maybe in another year or two we'll have to do a reunion again.

Visiting :)

   Today my Mom had a drop in "party" for my extended family, church family, and neighbors to stop in and visit with the boys and I. It's been almost three years since I've seen some of the people I got to visit with today. Today's society, my life for sure, is hectic and busy, I barely take time to sit and just prop my feet up, let alone just stop and visit with friends and family. It did my heart good to sit and talk with some of the people from my life growing up. I love listening to people's stories (their God stories and how they've gotten to where they are now). It was also fun listening to stories of when my parents were growing up. I can't put into words exactly how inspiring it was to simply sit, listen, and talk with some of the people that are part of my legacy and childhood and now into my adulthood.

Merry Christmas

   This evening the boys and I enjoyed getting to celebrate Christmas with all of the extended family. We got to talk with Adam through texting and email some too so that was nice. I hope everyone enjoyed a wonderful Christmas celebrating Jesus birthday.

Merry Christmas Eve

   Merry Christmas Eve! The boys and I went to a Christmas Eve service at the school where I went to K-12. It's weird celebrating Christmas without Adam here this year. This is our first year apart for the Holidays. The boys and I are enjoying being with family here in Pa, looking forward to Christmas with the whole family tomorrow.

Girl's Night Out :)

   This evening my Mom, sister, sister-in-law, and I went out to watch a show at Sight and Sound. The boys stayed with Grandpa and had a boys night. It was nice to get out with the ladies and I enjoyed the show.

Home, Sweet Home

   I really have two homes now. Ours in Oklahoma with my hubby and boys, and then my childhood home where I grew up. I'm excited to be back in Pa for the Holidays with my family and friends. Thankfully, Nathan is feeling better too so today was pretty smooth travels. Tonight I'm just hoping to have a restful night sleep :)

Half Way There

   Today makes me miss having my hubby around to help share the driving. In all honesty when we do road trips together he drives about 75% of the time and I take care of the rest. Today it was purely me and juggling the boys. On top of it Nathan got sick almost immediately when we got on the road. In this case, Adam might be thankful he's missing this traveling experience. Nathan's been a champ about the whole thing but it's hard traveling sick. One more day to tackle tomorrow. Then home for Christmas :)

On the Road Again....

   Getting ready to head home tomorrow, missing my hubby. He makes road trips more fun. Oh well, the boys and I will make the best of it. Ready for some rest relaxation, and a break from the normal routine.

Anniversarvy, Sickness, and Holiday Break

   Well the sickness bug definitely found it's way to our house this weekend. I was perfectly fine on Saturday evening when I went to bed and I woke up on Sunday feeling like a semi had run over me. We still celebrated our Christmas here in OK with my hubby's family. The boys had fun and I did as minimal as possible. I decided on Sunday I would take off on Monday and Tuesday since I was so sick and needed to rest and recuperate for our trip and also prepare for the traveling. This morning my younger son got sick so it's a good thing I wasn't anticipating going to work. He seems to have bounced back.
   In other news, today is my hubby and I's 7th anniversary! I haven't had the chance to talk to him but am thankful to have spent seven years with him and looking forward to where the next seven will take us. This deployment has shown me how balanced Adam keeps me and life really is exciting when walking it together with him and our boys.

Taking a Breather

   Wow, what a busy day. The boys went shopping with the police officers this morning. They had a lot of fun. Then when they came back, we finished wrapping gifts. Afterwards, we made some cookies for us and Santa's early visit tonight. This evening I had a small get together of some army wives at my house. It was so nice to just sit back and relax and talk about military life and what the Holidays are like with without our hubbies around. We are all so different but yet have so much in common. Tomorrow is sure to be another busy day. Now time for some sleep.

Christmas Parties

   The boys and I enjoyed a Christmas party with our church small group this evening. We have another weekend full of Christmas activities and packing to go home to Pa to celebrate Christmas with family and friends there. My goal is to not get stressed out about all the activities and relax and enjoy the socialization and just being together with family and friends. Missing my hubby with all the activities but enjoying this time with the boys, family, and friends.

Christmas Traditions

   Tonight amonst running more errands, Christmas has taken over, the boys and I went To Rhema lights. This is a tradition that we do every year. Last year Adam and I even went on a carriage ride on our sixth anniversary. The boys had a lot of fun and even cooperated for some pictures :)

Busy Day!

   Today was a long and busy day. First work and then the gym. After that, dinner with the boys and errands for Christmas presents and groceries. Now off to bed. It's been a busy week so far and it looks like it's going to continue that way.

Sometimes Simple Things are Complex in this Life of Mine

   So sometimes the simple things are a little hard to explain (and depending on the moment, I don't want to explain). This evening at the gym Jacob got to wrap a small gift for both me and Adam. He was so excited to give me mine and wanted to make sure that I will send Adam his. Anyone that knows me, knows I'm not that great at sending care packages, ask my hubby. Anyways, currently he's kind of in limbo land anyways so I replied to Jacob, "Sure we can send it to Daddy, once we know where he is". The childcare worker just looked at me, most of the workers there know us and know our story a little, however I hadn't seen her before and that was obvious when she just looked at me sadly. I can only imagine what was going through her head. And no I didn't bother to explain......sometimes it's just not worth it. However, Jacob got to Skpye with Daddy this evening and he was so proud to show him what he wrapped for him. Moments like that are precious and make this life we've chosen a little bit more worth it.

Not Every Day but I'll Take What I Can Get

   This morning as I was just getting up and started with my day Adam called and talked with the boys and I. I was already running around trying to get out the door but really getting to hear his voice and talk to him is worth it. Plus, it's always nice when the boys get to talk to him. Then this evening we got to Skype a little bit too. Loving that I got to start and end my day talking to my love. It makes me think these next several months are doable.

Sometimes you just need a lift up.

   Today was just what the boys and I needed. We had a laid back day and got the housework done. I needed a day like today. Now I'm ready for the work week. We have a few Christmas parties and some activities for the week and finish getting ready for our trip back to Pa. I had been a little discouraged but had some help this weekend from some friends and am feeling uplifted and ready for another week. I haven't heard from my Hubby lately and am missing him but am trying to be patient.

Tired!

   Tonight was rough, you would think my boys didn't know how to listen and obey at other people's houses! Can I just say I'm so over this deployment and being a "single Mom". Now, really, all I want for Christmas is my husband home. Hmm.....well that won't happen, so I guess I'll just suck it up, and keep pressing forward! One day, I hope my kiddos appreciate all I've put into them.

Wrapping Gifts and a Night to Myself

   Tonight the boys got to have a fun night with our small group leaders and several other kids. While they did that I got to finish my Christmas shopping and wrap their gifts. Well, I got started wrapping the gifts. I also got to watch a Christmas movie in the quite of my house. I'm not sure the last time I had the house all to myself, it was quite nice.

Taking the Night Off

   This evening the boys and I went out for pizza. Nathan got his book it for last month and this month so we have started our monthly outing for pizzas. He loves reading and always enjoys getting his very own personal pizza. Jacob is already looking forward to getting his own next year. It's nice to take some time to simply enjoy being a family and being together without the housework staring you in the face.

A Different Kind of Quality Time

   This evening my boys and I tackled the unending pile of dishes. I usually don't let them stack up but we had a full pile to do. Nathan and Jacob are into washing the dishes these days. So I let them decide who got to do the dishes first while the other one played the Wii. And believe it or not they both wanted to do the dishes with me first instead of play the Wii :) It makes me smile because they can be very helpful at times but they are just like other kiddos and want to play and not lift a finger at other times. I love my boys and I'm thankful for some helping hands. I figure they get to eat here, they can help do the dishes. They also help cook. Jacob enjoys cooking more but Nathan helps too, especially if he knows he'll get cookies as the end result. Tomorrow on the agenda is putting away the three piles of laundry that are still sitting on my couch and end table in the living room.

Balance

   So I have a sink full of dishes, three loads of  laundry folded and waiting to be put away, and my floor needs vacuumed. For the last hour I sat and watched kids Christmas movies with my boys. Sometimes I just need a break and I really had a productive day I just think I have to much on my plate. I guess it's time to pray and look about where to cut back again. I seem to be doing this a lot these last several months.

Another Work Week

   This weekend was fun and productive. Friday the boys and I ate out and did some errands. Saturday was more errands and some fun Christmas activities and celebrating a birthday. Today was church and then getting the house in order for the week. Overall, a good weekend. Now on to another work week. Only two and a half more weeks until Christmas break :)

Changes, Compromises, and Holidays

   So glad it's the weekend. This week had lots of things going on, it was both busy and a little stressful. Thankful to have the weekend to recuperate and enjoy the festivities with my boys and friends. It's a little stressful dealing with life with the hubby overseas for the Holidays but I'm trying to keep it fun for the boys. In all honesty I think they are handling life the best of the four of us these days :) So much more I could say but I'm a little tired and I don't feel like sharing a ton tonight.

What a Week!

I still have two days left but it's been a week thus far! It's been nine months of this deployment and four months to go. At least we are 2/3s of the way there with only 1/3 left. I wouldn't mind some help in the parenting part here. Thankfully I have a great support system and some wonderful friends that are good listeners. My computer has a virus on top of things so thankfully I have a back up one but it's just so frustrating to have to deal with all these issues.

Back to Work and School

   This Thanksgiving break was nice and refreshing. Now it's time to go back to work and school for about three and a half weeks. Then I'll have off for Christmas break. Thankful to have this time off and hoping the next three weeks go well and are productive at the same time.

Night Out with the Army Wives

   One of my favorite things about this deployment has been my monthly outing with the other army wives. Tonight we went out to Olive Garden, then shopping at the mall, and finished out with some conversation and coffee at Starbucks. There is just something about getting to talk with others that get it and you don't have to explain things. And so nice to get a kid free evening.

Shop Til You Drop and Putting Up the Tree

   So last night I went shopping with a friend for black Friday. This is only the second time I've gone, the last being when I was in high school. It was a bit crazy, crowded, but also fun. I found some great deals. I got a lot of the boys Christmas shopping done and even some for me :)
   Then today after recouping for a little bit the boys and I sat up our Christmas tree with another one of our friends. It's a red, white, and blue tree for Daddy to be part of our celebration this year from afar. Tonight we are all going to get a good night sleep.

Thanksgiving, Things I'm Thankful for :)

   Okay so everyone has been doing thankful lists on fb for the month of November. I have some relaxing time on my hand so I thought I'd do mine all at once. I'm having a relaxing day at home with my little helpful cookers. We wish Adam could be here but know he's doing his job. This morning started out with brunch with my mother-in-law. Then we cleaned up and Jacob helped me make some pumpkin whoopie pies. We taste tested them for a snack to hold us until dinner. I've got a turkey and veggies in the crock pot and my friend cooked up some other things that we'll enjoy for dinner. So here's my list.
24. My relationship with God - He's gotten me through the good and the bad.

23. My hubby - Adam's the love of my life. Deployments are difficult due to the distance and so many other things but my life wouldn't be what it is without him.

22. Nathan - He's my first born, a social butterfly, and has unending energy supplies. He's got lots of love and hugs to give.

21. Jacob - He's my baby, slow to warm up, but quick to give hugs and kisses when it's his idea. He's got his own ideas of what he wants to do and he's a great helper. He loves to help me in the kitchen.

20. Cindy - My mother-in-law. I'm beyond grateful for my relationship with her. She's kind of like a second Mom to me and we get along great. We've gone on vacations with just her, me, and
the boys. And she takes the boys for me one night a month so I can get some girl time.

19. My friends and family - I have some great friends that are like family both here in Ok and in Pa. I also have a wonderful family that supports me from afar and near. They've done so many things to help me out. I talk with my mom or sister almost every morning. My husband's best friend has been available countless times to help me out of a bind. There are so many people that have stepped up to help me while Adam's been gone and even though this military life still feels isolating sometimes the people that are in my life have made it more bearable.

18. Army support group - I've met some great ladies throughout this deployment and prior deployments. There is just something about others that are going through the same thing and get it.

17. Oklahoma in and of itself - I often refer to Ok as the bi-polar state (due to the weather not seeming to be able to make its mind up). However, I've had some meaningful milestones here. I've gone through college, gotten married, had both of my sons here, we bought our first house, and I learned Spanish and continued to use it throughout my career.

16. Memories and my heritage - Being away from home makes me even more thankful for the memories of my family holiday get togethers. I'm also thankful for my hertiage.

15. My career - I've always considered myself a positive individual, maybe that helps me in what I do. However, I think I'm a little naive also. My career has opened up my eyes to things I would not think about if it wasn't for that.

14. My education - I always wanted to go to college since I can remember. I'm thankful I completed that goal and also thankful that I have the opportunity to continue my supervision towards my license. It gives me something to focus on while Adam is out of country. I'm also thankful to have an amazing supervisor to do my supervision towards my licensing.

13. This deployment - This deployment has been hard, no questions about that. We've lost fourteen soldiers. My ac stopped working, my car transmission was giving me problems, and I had endless problems with a new water heater that I bought. However, with all that said I've realized just how much my hubby does for our family, I realized that he helps keep me balanced out, and I'm thankful that I have my sons to keep me focused on being thankful for the simple moments with them even when Daddy can't be here.

12. My Canadian family - Adam's from Canada. I enjoyed getting to visit my Canadian family this past July. Family is important to me and it's bittersweet being spread out over the globe. However, it gives us reason to travel. And I'm thankful for the times that the boys get to spend with their cousins.

11. Traditions - Hmm where to start, my Grandma Sauder was great about get togethers for the Holidays, another tradition that I loved was the yearly girl cousin sleepover at her house. What awesome memories from that time. My Grandma Martin makes these awesome chocolate peanut butter cookies that the Aunts would always get together and make around Christmas time and exchange other homemade cookies. My Mom and Dad have always been very involved in our church and in our school throughout my childhood. I hope to keep many of these things going with my boys with some twists and tweaks as we go throughout this journey of life.

10.  Board Games, Books, and my kindle - Oh the simple times. I've got a closet full of games for the boys now. We've started playing candy land and hungry hippos, along with memory and Chutes and Ladders. I even found a marble game that I used to play with my Grandma Sauder. Books are my get away and now I've got the opportunity to teach my boys the treasure of reading. And for the newest addition my hubby bought me the kindle for Christmas last year. Ever the multitasker I love to read from it while I walk on the treadmill or run on the elicpitical at the gym.

9.   Technology - Skype is a wonderful thing to our family. I love getting to see my hubby's face and getting to talk to him all at the same time. I love that my boys face light up when they hear him video calling us on the computer. I also love getting emails from my man. They don't come often enough but I'll take what I can get. I know we have more than the military families that have gone before us. Skype is also great for when I'm scrapbooking with my sister.

8.   Scrapbooking - I'm a memory girl. My hubby has told me mutiple times to live in the present instead of trying to create so many memories. I believe there is balance. I enjoy scrapbooking and since I'm about two years behind it helps me relive the good times.

7.   Imperfections and hurts - This may seem odd but deployments make everything seem so much more personal. I've experienced some hurt at people's words or their actions or lack of throughout this deployment. I know I have my own imperfections and I think the reason I'm thankful for this is because it reminds me of grace. God's grace for me, and also that I need to offer others grace.

6.   My church family and small group - Church is the solace to my heart as well as socialization with a smaller part of my church family.

5.   Chocolate, snacks, and alcohol :) - These are the things that make my evenings more bearable and relaxing after the kiddos are in bed. These are my vices when I've had a long day and need to prop my feet up for a little bit.
4.   The gym - It is my stress relief. I go three times a week and right between my job and going home.

3. My co-workers - I'm thankful for having understanding and supportive co-workers, that I also consider friends.

2. The boys teachers and everybody that speaks into their lives - So thankful for the amazing teachers that my boys have had. I'm thankful that they take the time to communicate with me and also be supportive about our military lifestyle.

1. My crockpot and freezer meals - It's helped simplify my hectic life this year.

Happy Thanksgiving!

  Today I cleaned up the house and did the laundry to prepare to relax and enjoy my thanksgiving with friends and family tomorrow. Happy Thanksgiving! Nathan, Jacob, and I are thankful to have off five days to spend some quality time together.

Thanksgiving Break

   Thankfully, my work week is done. Now to relax with my boys. I'm thankful my hubby is safe and I'm thankful I get to hang out with the boys these next few days.

Busy Work Day

   Today was a busy day at work. I'm only working two days this week so that's nice but I'm trying to get as much done in two days as possible so that's a little bit tiring. Then I hit the gym and went for groceries with the boys this evening. Time to call it a night.

Taking the Afternoon Off

   This afternoon I had a girl's day with my mother-in-law. We did a little bit of Christmas shopping and then went and saw Breaking Dawn Part One. It was a great movie and it was nice to get away for a little bit. I'm thankful to have a good relationship with my mother-in-law. She's been a great support to me and the boys while our family's been going through this deployment. So thankful to have her as family.

Cleaning Out the Clutter

   Thankfully today the boys and I took the day to get things done around the house. We went through their desk and cleaned it. Next was the little boxes under the end tables in my living room which has a bunch of the boys toys in them. And lastly, we cleaned out the closet with all our winter coats. It's amazing how long it takes to go through these things and decide what to keep and what to get rid of and how to reorganize. Now I have piles of laundry awaiting me tomorrow.
   This evening we were invited to a friend's house for dinner. It was nice to have a home cooked meal. I had leftovers planned for us. Plus, they didn't know it, but it was thanksgiving for my family in Pennsylvania. So it was nice to have some fellowship and good food this evening.

Cookies

   I'm so glad tonight is Friday. I got to make cookies tonight with some other ladies for the troops. So proud of my soldier and so ready to know when he is coming home for good.

Some Thoughts for the Day

   The boys and I went shopping this evening for some things for Adam. We are getting a care package together to send him. It was kind of fun. On the way we stopped at Taco Bell to get dinner. The boys did pretty good until the end of dinner. Jacob was done and ready to go and was playing jungle gym on the railing where you order. There was just a few other couples in the restaurant but I just started counting. We do the 1,2,3 magic here and think what you will but it works for us. In this instance he wanted to push to see how far he could get so I got him and put him in his seat and took his soda. Then at Walmart the boys were looking over the coupon and deals while I was doing some shopping. They were fighting over which ads to look at, oh so exciting! Nathan had a meltdown because Jacob wouldn't let him look at what he wanted too. I did a typical Mom thing and stopped in the middle of the aisle and said, "That's it, no tv and no wii if you don't stop crying for the whole weekend," (I'd had enough!) and started the count again. There was an older couple right in front of us that just looked at us. He pulled it together, because he knows I'm not making idle threats, we've been there, done that. These are the moments that make me want to take the night off and switch with Daddy, although I don't get that, but when I get the looks I simply want to say, "If you only knew......," or, "Do you want to help out?" I know these are normal Mom moments, just amped up being a military wife with a husband deployed.
   The other night my sister and I were scrapbooking together via skype. She was working on her son's baby pictures who is almost one. We were talking and she told me that so much happens in that first year it's hard to believe he's almost one. I stopped and said yeah, that's the same amount of time that Adam and our family will be apart by the time this deployment is over, it's kind of crazy. People forget as they are going through their daily lives how much time passes and military families spend apart. A lady at work asked me the other day how long Adam's been gone? My immediate response was eight and a half months, I kind of surprised myself how fast my answer was. It's not like I was thinking about it off the top of my head (it's just our daily life that we live). Anyways, then this evening I was getting the boys ready for bed and my phone rings. It was someone with the army calling me at eight thirty on a week night. I screen my calls so I didn't answer. I figured if it was important they would leave a message, which they didn't. But really calling me at that time on a week night? Ugh, now I've got to not think about that and go to bed so I can finish my work week out tomorrow. Just another day in our militray life.

No is Okay

   Tonight I really wanted to go to church and get back into the routine of Wednesday nights now that Nathan's football season is over and we are over our little sickness epidemic. However, I could tell we all just needed a down night so we stayed at home and took it easy. We got to skype with Daddy too so that was nice. It was kind of funny when Adam got onto the boys for being silly and poking each other. If he really thinks they are going to be like oh okay Daddy and stop when he's half way across the world, well it's just not happening. I love all my boys! Now time for some sleep before another full day tomorrow.

Another Day Down

   Well we had another good day here. Staying busy but also on top of things. Can't complain and I'm thankful to be feeling better.

Mondays

   Today was actually a nice Monday, to get back into a "normal" routine. Nothing exciting happening here but  we all had a smooth Monday so no complaining either.

Back to Work

   This week is all about getting back into our routine around here. Even though I've been working it's been a different schedule. Things go back to normal this week. The routine keeps us busy and everyone knows what to expect. With the holidays coming up it won't be much longer until my hubby's back. I'm actually getting kind of excited!

Feeling Better

   Thankfully, I'm feeling better. Today the boys and I got a lot of house cleaning and errands done. We wrapped up Nathan's football season by going to his team party this afternoon.We even went to the library. I love that my boys enjoy reading. Then we took some time to play with some of Jacob's birthday toys. I also made a nice breakfast and dinner which doesn't happen often these days. Finally, we sat down and relaxed for this evening. There is only so much you can get done in one day before you just need some relaxing time.

Happy Veteran's Day!

   So proud of my hubby today. My oldest son had an a school assembly for Veteran's Day this afternoon. He was so proud to show a picture of his Daddy to his classmates and tell him what he does. This deployment has been hard on all of us. But I'll always be proud of my man. Thanks babe for your service to our country.

Wiped Out!

  Whatever this thing is it isn't letting up! I'm so thankful for my health. I'm not sure if it's the flu or what but it just keeps on hanging on. I powered up and went into work today just to get sent back home since my co-worker didn't want to get sick. Ugh! I'm trying to take it easy but I'm not very good at it and feeling icky doesn't make the resting that pleasant either. My hubby skyped with me today and said "well it doesn't look like you have the flu", umm okay. What am I suppose to say to that?!

Yuck!

   I'm still not feeling well. I'm going to bed early. I'm hoping to continue sleeping this off. Today seems like a fuzzy blur with the medication that I'm taking. Hoping tomorrow is better.

Blah!

   I got some mixed news last night but I'm not sure I'm aloud to share yet so I won't. I feel like a bit of a whiner these days. However, the fact of the matter is, I'm sick and I dislike being sick. I guess most likely no one likes being sick. It takes on a whole different meaning when you've got two kids to take care of and not a lot of people to help out. Anyways, thankfully in that department, it's just a sore throat so we had some quite time this evening. This to shall pass but it would be nice to have my hubby here to help with the boys, just saying....

Late Night Knocks

   I'm excited about getting back into a more relaxing routine during the evenings. I'm thankful that football is done so it frees up our evenings and our Saturdays. Last week was busy with trick or treating and Jacob's birthday. This week I'm making the most of our laid back evenings. However, about seven thirty I got a knock on my door and it about sent my heart into a panic attack. I didn't even open my door, my five year old did that for me. It was a sales person. I just told him that right now wasn't the best time. He said he understood and just left a pamphlet. Thankfully he took it kindly because I'm sure my face had something to say. Oh well, just another day in the life of an army wife.

Socialization

   This weekend was a fun and relaxing weekend. I spent some time with friends and the boys played with other kids their age. It was nice to have some down time. I didn't get much done on my to do list but it'll be there for the rest of the week. It's important to take some time for relationships. Being by myself with the boys can be quite lonely at times so it's nice to get time to chat and hang out with other adults.

Day Off

   Today was a fun day. I took the day off and went to a baby shower with some girlfriends. It was nice to just sit and visit, eat, and relax. After that I went shopping and met up with a friend for dinner and some quality friend time. The boys had a fun day playing with the babysitter and getting to play the Wii and watch some TV. Overall, a relaxing day for all of us.

And back to our Friday Night Routine

   Loving our Friday evenings again. I remember playing Nintendo and Super Nintendo at home with my brothers and sister. Sometimes my Dad even joined in and would play. He was hilarious he would scream and move with the controller like it would actually move Mario or Luigi. He was before his time. I've since let him try out our Wii and he's actually pretty good and doesn't holler at his players anymore because they don't do what he's doing.
   Anyways fast forward about fifteen years and here I am with my boys (six and five) playing Mario Kart, Super Mario Brothers, and now Mario Galaxy on the Wii. It's kind of a family tradition and it's a nice way to relax and unwind. Yea, for simple things and relaxing family time :)

Fun Night with My Boys

   Nathan's son had a fall carnival tonight. This is the second one we went to. The boys always have a lot of fun. They get to play games and win candy and different prizes. Tonight they also got their hair color sprayed and got their pictures taken at the photo booth. I remember going to this last year with my hubby and am looking forward to going with my hubby again next year when he is back in the states.

It's Been a Mixed Kind of Day

   I love my little man. He turned 5 today! I know a lot of people say it's bitter sweet having their kids grow up but I actually enjoy it. I try to cherish the moments and years as they go by. Each stage has it's blessings and it's difficulties. Jacob is a little mischeifous and is also a fun loving boy. Sometimes he'll give you big hugs (and if your not careful he'll take your nose out in the process) other times he doesn't even want to shake hands or talk. He's really into Super Mario these days so I found a cake on facebook. It's interesting how the little things really make a difference. I got to spend a evening with a few friends celebrating Jacob's birthday. Jacob also got to go out with our children's pastor to chucke cheese (something special they did since his Dad is overseas). He had a blast and took a short nap in between that and his party this evening at our house. His daycare teacher got him a little something too. He also has cupcakes to share with his classmates tomorrow. Overall, great day. And it started out with getting to skype with Daddy and open his remote control car so Daddy could share the moment with him :)
   With all that said I had my own crying spell over the fact that my hubby couldn't be here to share in Jacob's birthday. I think the reason it really bothered me was because he was suppose to have his leave now but it got changed at the last minute. For whatever reason, it just was the thing to set me on edge. We also found out that we lost two more Oklahoma soldiers today. It's difficult, this makes thirteen since July 29th. We just got to the colder months so I thought I could take a deep breath and relax. I guess not. My prayers go out to the families and friends of the fallen soldiers. I'm also praying for safety for the soldiers overseas.

My Baby Boy Turns 5

   My baby boy turns five tomorrow. We love you Jacob!

Fall Festival / Trick or Treating

   The boys had a fun time going to fall festival at our church last night and then trick or treating today at a friend's house. It's the first time we went trick of treating but the boys really enjoyed it. I also got to Skype twice with my hubby today which I enjoyed.

Saturdays

   I love lazy Saturdays where I can sleep in and relax with my boys. That is exactly what I did this morning. And then we had a brunch and did some errands. This afternoon Nathan had his last football game. I wish Adam would have got a chance to see him play but not this season. Then after the game the boys got to spend some quality time with Grandma while I went out with a few other army wives. Overall, it was fun Saturday.

Chillaxin

   Chilling and relaxing was most of my day. I got a mani, pedi, and a massage. I also got a lot of house work done and other errands. It was nice to have a normal work day off and all to myself :)

Arguing Over the Ocean

   So people say I'm suppose to always tell my hubby everything is great here and we are doing fine so he doesn't worry about the homefront. I can't really apologize because I'm not that person. I'm too real and just tell him how it is. Yesterday we got in an argument about a parenting dilemma. It's difficult to resolve these things with there being so many miles between us. I believe in honesty though, ultimately it will help us as we reunite after a year long deployment.

Spider Bite

   I've been in pain for the last two days. I got bit by a spider, not exactly sure what it was, it might have been a black widow. Anyways I went to the Doctor and I'm trying to take medicine to numb the pain. I can't believe that little critters can exert this much pain. Waiting for it to go away!

Disappointments

   My hubby was suppose to be getting his leave in the next couple of days. Unfortunately plans have changed. It really stinks, and that doesn't quite cover it, but like everything else we'll role with the punches. I just need some time to recover a bit.

Sometimes You Need a Break

   Today the boys and I hung out and relaxed. Sometimes you just need a break. I even got to take a nap today. Now I'm ready to prepare for another week. One more week of football and last game for Nathan this week.

Unexpected Blessings

   Sometimes life doesn't go as we have planned. I don't know about any of you but mine seems to take a lot of twists and turns from the original plan I had, some good and some bad. Today my parents, the boys, and I headed to a local corn maize. It ended up not being there this year due to the heat from this summer but we stopped and asked some neighbors for directions and they were nice enough to let us play in their backyard. They had a homemade zip line and some other neat toys for the boys. We even made it to another local pumpkin patch/corn maize and it turned out being a very refreshing day :) Some times the twists and turns are just unexpected blessings :)

Fun Times

   Today was fun. The boys and I took my Mom and Dad to the aquarium and then went to Incredible pizza. This evening we rounded out the day by playing some Mario Kart on the wii and some games together.

Torn in so Many Ways

   It's been a crazy day. I spent the majority of it dealing with people on the phone to get my water tank taken care of. I'm glad to say that I have a brand new one that appears to be working fine now. Tonight I'm going to sleep well and rest and then wake up in the morning and enjoy the rest of my time with my parents while they are in town visiting.

Blowing Something Up Sounds Good About Now

   I need some time to scream or maybe I just need to blow the gas tank up. The pilot light still isn't staying lit. So here is my question how do you be respectful, keep your cool, but also speak up for yourself? I'm trying not to just take it out on the workers that are doing their job but I'm about to lay my "sad" story on them. This is utterly ridiculous. What I would like to do is have my husband give them a call and tell them off but that wouldn't be very good impulse control, now would it?!

Taking a Break

   My parents are in town for the week. I'm excited to hang out with family and relax some. The boys get to have the attention of their Grandparents and I get to enjoy some family fellowship. :)

Lazy Saturday Morning

   This morning was a good morning. I got to sleep in in the first time in many Saturdays. Nathan's football game was in the afternoon and we had brunch before going to his game. I love lazy mornings :)

Night Out

   I enjoy getting a night out. I went out with my co-worker and friend. I have some wonderful friends that kept my boys for me so I could get a break and relax some for the evening. My friend and I watched the new Footloose. It was a really good movie and makes me want to learn to dance (I can't dance). So I'm giving my hubby the job of teaching me to dance when he comes back. So nice to have some girl time and conversation.

Slacking on the Job

   It's been three days since my oldest son lost yet another tooth (number seven in the last several months). Now in my credit, he didn't even tell me about loosing his tooth the first day. He lost the tooth at school and they gave him a little treasure box to put his tooth in. He put it under his pillow and didn't even say anything to me. I just happened to notice the little treasure box last night when I was tucking him in and I asked him about it. He complained that the tooth fairy didn't come the night before (so I made a mental note to remember). However, after cleaning house and settling down for the night I completely forgot. Today is the third night since he lost his tooth. This evening he made sure to open the treasure box and put the tooth under the pillow by itself so the tooth fairy would have easy access. Luckily I remembered to tell the tooth fairy to make a stop in his room after he was asleep. Oh the joys of motherhood. It doesn't matter how tired you are, somethings just make me smile and are worth it!

Going Through the Motions

   Another busy day. I try not to stay too busy (this sentiment is pretty funny because I know I'm very busy) but I try to cut back and take the chance to sit back and relax some. I especially try and take time to cherish the moments with my boys in our every day life. However, in all of that, we have a quick and fast schedule these days. The routine is comforting for all of us because we know what to expect and we get to cross one more day off the calender to seeing Daddy at the beginning of another day. I try to not get to caught up in counting down and remember to have some fun throughout the months and days too. But the fact remains that at the end of the day we are one more day closer to spending time with our Daddy and Hubby :)

Celebrating Others

   Today I took some time off to celebrate a friend's birthday. It's true, it really is more blessed to give than to receive. It does my heart good to concentrate on someone else.

Rest and Relaxation

   We had a busy and fun weekend here. I'm learning to let things go, mainly housework, and enjoy down time with my boys. Also working on my priorities and boundaries. It's great to socialize with others and I also enjoy having relaxation time with and without my kids. One more week of work until my parents are here and we get to rest and relax together.

What No Army Wife Wants to Face

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/10/05/eveningnews/main20116271.shtml?tag=facebook

A story of a fallen soldier and his widow.

A Quarter of the Way

This week marks six months of supervision towards my LCSW. So excited, only eighteen months to go :)

Precious Words!

Another army wife posted this today. She found it online when she was looking for care package ideas. I love this! Someone gets it and cares.

While I have never had the pleasure of meeting you or your husband, I felt the need to write you and express a very deep feeling that I have in my heart.
I, as a person, am not brave. I do not tackle things head on, as I hate confrontation. I will travel 100 miles out of my way just to avoid a conflict. I am an American woman that has no idea what is going on in the military other than what I hear on the news.
I have never had to let go of someone so that they could go fight for people that they didn't know, people that sometimes do not appreciate or understand what they are fighting for.
I have never had a sleepless night of worry because of a report that another bomb has exploded and I still haven't heard from my husband.
I have never had to wait for months on end to hold the one that I loved so.
I have never had to tell my children that daddy wasn't coming home tonight because he was so far away fighting for something that they aren't yet old enough to understand.
I have never had to hold my head high and suppress the tears as I hear that it will be at least another six months of separation before my loved one gets to come home.
I have never had to deal with a holiday away from the one that I thought I would share every day of my life with.
And I have never had to feel the panic rising in my heart at the sound of a ringing phone or knock at the door for fear that it is the news that everyone is terrified of getting.
For the reasons listed above, I can not tell you that I understand how you feel. I can not tell you that you must be strong. I can not say that you shouldn't be angry, because you "knew what you were getting into when you married a military man". I can not say these things because I have never had to walk in your shoes.
What I can say for certain is that because of your unselfish acts of bravery and your husbands willingness to stand up for those who see him as "just another soldier" - - I will never have to walk in your shoes.
I do understand that as a military wife you are expected to uphold a certain amount of control, but I never understood how you could do it, until now. I have figured out that you are not like other women. You are of a special breed. You have a strength within you that holds life together in the darkest of hours, a strength of which I will never possess. The faith you have is what makes you stand out in a crowd; it makes you glow with emotion and swell with pride at the mention of The United States of America.
You are a special lady, a wonderful partner and a glorious American.
I have more respect for your husband than I could ever tell you, but until recently I never thought much about those that the soldier leaves at home during deployment.
Until this moment I could never put into words exactly what America meant to me.
Until this moment, I had no real reason to.... Until I heard of you.
Your husband and his military family hold this nation close, safe from those who wish to hurt us...but you and those like you are the backbone of the American family. You keep the wheels in motion and the hearts alive while most would just break completely down. Military families make this nation what it is today.
You give us all hope and you emit a warming light at the end of a long dark tunnel.
Because of you and your family...I am able to be me. I am able to have my family. I am able to walk free in this great land. Because of you and your family, I can look ahead to the future with the knowledge that life is going to be okay. Because of you and your family, I can awake to a new day, everyday.
I realize that you are a stronger person than I will ever be because of these things and I just wanted to take the time today to say thank you to you and your family for allowing me that freedom.
I will never be able to repay this debt to you, as it is unmatchable. However, I hope that you know that no matter where you are...what you are doing...what has happened today...or what will happen tomorrow...Your husband will NEVER be "just another soldier" to me.... And you, dear sweet lady, will never be forgotten.
You are all in my prayer's everyday and I pray that God will bring you back together with your loved one safely.
May God Bless You!

Grumpy!

I'm pretty grumpy tonight. My hot water tank is having issues with the pilot light again and I'm getting the run around so I'm not doing to well with the positive twist tonight, just feeling tired.

Mondays and Mornings

   I refuse to get up before six am. This morning I forgot to set my alarm clock and woke up about the time I was suppose to be getting to school. I had a meeting with a parent that I had to reschedule and then I just jumped into things when I got there. These are the mornings where I have two choices, 1) I can let the fact that I overslept ruin my whole day or 2) I can start from where I am and make the best of it. I tried to do number one. And I've already made sure my alarm clock is set for tomorrow morning. Goodnight all :)

Jealous!

   I'm trying not to be jealous. Several of my friends that are army wives hubby's are home and it makes me miss mine. On top of that, I missed my hubby's phone call today, no good reason, I just didn't hear my phone ring. Besides all of that I had a really productive day and just relaxed some with my boys. We are ready for another week.

Football and Firsts

   I went to a college football game with my oldest son tonight and my mother-in-law. It was a first for me and Nathan. My other son spent the night at a sleepover with one of our friends. Nathan got to go on the field and make a tunnel for when the players came on the field. It was a neat experience. I'm glad we did it.

Night Out

I went out tonight with a friend for dinner and a movie. It's so nice to have a girl's night here and there.

The Positive Twist

   Well, it seems my car has decided to join in the disarray of things. The alternator is messed up. Hopefully, this is the last of the bad and the good comes now. However, trying to stay positive my car hasn't left me sit and at least I was here when my water tank started leaking. My friends and family have pulled together to help me out. My hubby is being as supportive as he can from across the ocean. And, it's probably better that I'm dealing with the house issues this deployment versus having the renters deal with it last deployment. Tomorrow, I'm taking the day off to deal with life and will hopefully be able to enjoy the weekend more because I can get some of my household chores done instead of waiting until Saturday to start on them.

Things are Turning Around

   Thankfully, the hot water tank is taken care of and works. Thanks to my friend who came over to my house to let the repair guy in while I was at work. My car is working fine as well. Today was a productive day and I'm hoping things continue to go uphill.

Glass Half Empty, I Think the Cat Just Spilled Mine

   So the other day the cat spilled the boys glass of water that was left on the table. Don't ask me why she gets fresh water and food that is inside the house but when there is water on the table during the night she'll knock it over to drink it. That was frustrating enough because I had Nathan's homework folder sitting out and his reading list and homework got completely drenched. However, I'm thinking she somehow dumped my water out again because things are just not going my way these days. The hot water tank company is being annoying! I'm praying that a peaceful night sleep will make things better when I deal with them again tomorrow. My pilot light officially won't even start now! Then on top of it all, my car would not start after football practice. Thankfully, there was another Mom that had a starter and she got it going in seconds! She made my night. Now to tackle whatever comes in the morning but first, sleep. My hubby called today too and it was nice to hear his voice. Although I'm ready for him to be here to help me out with this stuff, oh well, so is life. On the positive side I do have great friends and family that are supporting me but things might start randomly disappearing around my house if they don't get their act together (and no I'm not talking about my children!)

Throwing the Water Heater Out of the House

   I'm frustrated, about two weeks ago, my hot water tank hit the dust. It was leaking, (a small flood in my kitchen and garage), thankfully I had a friend come to my rescue. I bought another one and had it put in. Now the pilot light doesn't want to stay lit and it's driving me crazy. It's gone out three times in the last two weeks. I'm going to call the manufacturer and see what they have to say tomorrow. With the ac and now the hot water tank the last two months have been stressful with work, deployment, the boys needs, and the household responsibilities it's been a bit to much. I just need some peace please!

A Much Needed Break

   This weekend was a nice breather from life. The boys and I relaxed and enjoyed life after a busy week. Adam got to call too so that was nice. I enjoyed getting to go out with friends yesterday and to a Bible study this evening. Now we are ready for another week.

Weekend!

   It's been a busy week. Today, I'm just thankful it's the weekend. Have a good weekend everyone! Catch up with you later.

Military Support Group

   Tonight I went to a military support group at Victory. It's nice to see this church meeting a need in the military world. It was just me and an older couple that is leading it but it was so refreshing to talk to others that get it and to know that there are people that want to listen about what is going on. And thankfully they didn't mind Jacob doing his thing.

One Thing At A Time

   So one thing I took away from today is take one thing at time. To much multi-tasking and to many things to do makes this Mama a little crazy. Also, it's okay to take a break when needed, actually recommended for my mental health. And things happen so just deal with it. This morning as I was already running late to get both of my sons to school and myself to work my hubby texted that he wanted to skype with me. It had been two months since I got to skype with my hubby so I took my son to my room and let him skype with Daddy. It was worth the tardy slip :)  Then this afternoon I was late picking up my son, so thankful for an understanding teacher and friend that helped me out. It also let me know that I really am not forgotten about even if it feels like it at times. Sometimes the simple acts of kindness really does make a difference. It did for me today.

Competing Things

   These days I feel in a tug of war over my time. My boys need and want my time. My job is demanding a lot of time. My sanity requires me to take some time for myself. Finding balance is difficult but I'm still working on it, it's worth it. Bottom line is my boys and family come first.

A Friend To Lean On

   Today was a hectic day. Thankfully, I had friends to lean on. My-coworker helped me with my son for  a little bit and another army wife provided a therapeutic listening ear. Sometimes just the understanding of been there, done that helps a ton.

Sometimes I Just Have to Call It a Night

   I got a lot done today but it was one of those days the more I did the more I realized I need to do and of course I don't have the time to get it all done. Oh well, the rest will wait until tomorrow. It seems like I have more of these days than not lately.

Just Keeping At It

   Just keeping busy and keeping on with life on this side of the world. The thought of my day is that we are more or less half way through this deployment and that makes me happy! This one hasn't been an easy one so I'm clinging to whatever I can to help me get through, one more day down.

Family Time

   Sometimes just chilling with the boys is the perfect way to spend my time. I enjoy just hanging out with the boys on Friday nights. We don't get a lot of down time these days so I cherish the time we get to just relax and enjoy each other company. It's nice to sit back and relax after a busy work week. Enjoy your weekend everyone.

Words Really Do Matter

         Today was a good day. I got several compliments today and I just want to say words really do matter. Words are just words but they made my day sweeter.

Work Week

   Sometimes it's nice to stay busy at work. It keeps my mind off of deployment stuff and parenting decisions. Other days I wonder why I work and do the parenting thing all at the same time. It keeps me really busy. This week so far I'm glad to have my work to stay busy. It feels good to be out there doing something. It helps that I got to talk to my hubby this morning too and know that he is doing pretty good too.

September 11th, 10 Year Anniversarvy

   Yesterday was the ten year anniversary of September 11th. I watched the memorial on TV yesterday. It's still very sobering after ten years. Then I think about all our family has been through due to that one day in history. I really just don't have the words to capture all my feelings on that but I'm glad the anniversary is over.

Death of Our Soldiers

   So this post is personal and not an easy one to write but the fact is we've lost eleven of our guys on this deployment. This is the only deployment (this is my third) that we've been through that we've lost any. It doesn't get any easier with the news of the loss of another soldier. The emotions are all over the place of what you experience. I'm so thankful it's not my husband but to know that there is another wife, mother, child that is going to have to walk through this life without their love one is so disheartening. Every time I hear the news of another loss it reminds me of the nearness of this outcome for my family. I know God will help all of us get through come what may but it's still a very hard thing to face. What makes all of this even harder for me is the fact that I do not share any of these feelings or the fact that we've lost even one soldier with my sons. I just feel it would scare them and they aren't able to comprehend the fact that Daddy might not come home. I also feel awful for being thankful that my husband is safe for now, knowing that another family  isn't as lucky as mine. Lord knows, this deployment has taken a toil on me, my faith, and my mental health. I just want my husband to come home safely.
   However, on the other side of that I know my husband is doing his duty of serving our country and keeping it a safe place for others. I have tremendous pride in him. There are moments (sometimes more than less) of being bitter that I have to live with the constant fear of knowing the uncertainty of what our family faces. It doesn't seem fair that others walk around in oblivion (or at least it seems like it to me) of what we face on a daily basis.
   Then there is the other fact that my husband is faced with loosing comrades and friends. How does that affect a person? I know I'm changed because of this deployment and I wonder how this will affect our family when we are reunited. I place my hope and trust in God but the mere fact of my daily battle right now is simply holding on to the hope that there will be a day when this is all over.
   This post comes on the heels of learning that we just lost another three guys. We haven't lost anybody for the last month or so and I was just getting into a comfort zone of maybe it was safe to start breathing and going on with life.

Friends and My Support System

   Working in the mental health field and being the social person I am I know friendship and family are important. I was reminded once again today how blessed I am to have the people in my life that support me, even when it is inconvenient. My youngest son got sick almost as soon as we got to school this morning. My mother-in-law and her boyfriend watched him for me today so I could work. Then this evening I was tired from work and was looking forward to relaxing with my boys and watching a movie. First, I was cleaning my dishes and getting dinner going. All of a sudden I noticed water leaking through my pantry in my kitchen and didn't know what to think. I went into the garage and my hot water tank was leaking water. Now I'm a semi-independent person, but these things are not my speciality. This is my hubby's department. Obviously he's not around right now. Next, I would call my Dad, but given we live twenty hours apart there isn't much he is going to do for me. I would even call my Father-in-law but he lives in Canada. So I picked up my phone and called my hubby's best friend and he didn't even hesitate. He just got in his truck and drove over and helped me get the water turned off. I'm thankful (and I know Adam is too) for the people God has put in my life for extra support while my hubby is half way across the world. Thanks all, you know who you are :)
   So the perfect song to go with my day is.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vk1mxUKiTN8

Life

   I got an email from my hubby today :) Makes me happy, I haven't really gotten to talk to him very much lately. Life goes on but it's nice to hear from him. Anyways today was back to the hectic life some. School, gym, football practice, and time for some homework with the boys and then off the bed for us all. I know it was a short week but I'm looking forward to tomorrow being Friday!

Sometimes the Good has to go too.

   Tonight I decided that church on Wednesdays have to go too for right now. I went last Wednesday night but I'm serious about cutting things down. Even good things can be to much when done out of proportion. I'll miss my Wednesdays but if it'll help me keep up with things and be able to spend some time with my sons it's worth it.

Taking a Step Back

   It's time for me to take a step back and see where I can cut back or what I can cut out of my life for this season. I'm to busy and I want to be able to spend more time with my boys. They are already missing their Daddy and I need to be able to spend some time with them. I'm thankful to my mother in laws boyfriend for helping me out with taking Nathan once a week to football practice. This way I can get some paperwork done then instead of spending some time on the weekend on it. Plus, I made a deal with Jacob that if he does good at school he can get to watch a movie or play the wii all by himself. He thinks it's pretty cool that he gets to eat dinner with just Mommy too. I have to remember, I can't do it all but what I am doing I'm going to give it my all, and my family comes first whatever it takes.

Even Three day Weekend Aren't Long Enough.

   All good things must come to an end. I enjoyed my three day weekend. We did some fun things as a family and also got some much needed house work and errands done.We got rested up to jump back into everything again. Now I just pray that God gives us the strength to make it to our next break.

Rest and Relaxation

   I was so thankful this morning to get to sleep in until nine. For the last month since my school has started I've been getting up at six almost every day, especially with Nathan's football scrimmages and football games.  The boys enjoyed getting a lazy Saturday morning too. They watched cartoons and played the wii. Then the boys and I weeded the flower garden which was long overdue, and got some more house work done. Looking forward to enjoying the rest of this weekend.

A Break Is Needed, and Thankfully Here

   Thankfully this weekend is almost here, just one more work day and then three days off. The beauty of this is amazing because the boys and I really don't have any plans and I'm glad to be able to lay back and relax some. We also have six days off from football. Wow, I'm feeling spoiled, and thankful! And it's also the first of September so we are one more month down in this deployment countdown :)

The Truth of the Matter

   The truth of the matter is that I'm not a crier. However, this deployment I've had at least four meltdowns (crying sessions) due to stress and life. Today by far was the most humiliating (maybe). I was at the doctor's office and she kept asking me questions about my husband and family. Sometimes I want others to ask and show support and that they care about what's going on, others time I just don't want to go there. Today was definitely, don't go there or I'm going to start crying. She didn't get that memo and I started bawling in the doctor's office. It was humiliating, so then why do I share, because life is messy and complicated, even more so when you are going through a deployment. Thankfully, I was able to regroup and go on but it took a conversation over the phone with another army wife and some helpful insight from my supervisor. Now to remember, just one foot in front of the other.

Sometimes I Simply Cannot Do It All.

   I've learned through this deployment, that I simply cannot do it all. Now I've learn this lessons several times before, but it takes me awhile to really get it. I've got this control thing about me that I want things to go a certain way and when they do not I start getting frustrated. Being a Mom and a therapist I've learned that I can't base my day off of my kids (my own and my clients) behavior. I can only control how I respond, not what they do. Being a Mom that is constantly on the go, especially right now with football thrown into the routine, I've learned that I simply have to let go (or go crazy), and seeing that I'm basically a single Mom right now, number two is not an option. So if I don't get to workout as much as I want I'll survive, if I have to go through the drive through or eat on the go, it will be okay, and when my day and life does not go as planned (because let's face it, when does it really?!), I need to take a deep breath, and jump back in with two feet. I know I'm not perfect and I've got a great support system but overall it's me and my boys and we are just taking it one day at a time. Don't worry, I have a plan, I always do, it just rarely actually goes according to it. My life seems to go by the theme: structure with flexibility. Sometimes I wish life lessons were easier but then I guess they wouldn't stick with me as much.

The Good and the Bad

   Today was busy. This morning was good but this afternoon and evening was a little more rocky but nothing to big. I'm ready for another day. Goodnight all.

Taking Control Back

   This last week has been very busy with meeting teachers and getting the boys settled into their school routines. On top of that, my oldest son is doing football so we've been super busy with practices and games. My house took a beating, but I had a goal to regain control of my house and I did today. I got almost all the laundry done and it's looking pretty good. Now to just keep it up during the week. I even took some much needed time to chill with my sons today. I know it's okay to stay busy during deployment, it makes it go faster. However, on the other hand, there is such a thing as to busy, which I'm trying to balance.

I Don't Have Much to Say this Week.

   It's been a very busy week and I'm overwhelmed with life so instead of write all of that a friend of mine posted this. I think this is a very honorable thing to do.

Man uses scrapbooks to comfort families of fallen soldiers | Tulsa World

http://www.tulsaworld.com/

I Can't Say It Better Than This

   A message from one of our guys over there.

An update of sorts... transperancy revealed

One Soldiers comments that is touching many   An update of sorts.... transparency revealed by Erik Wolf on Thursday, August 18, 2011 My beloved friends and family....   I've thought for a long time about writing an update... trying to conjure up words to somehow describe to you how things are over here. My past...

By: ‎45th Infantry Brigade Combat Team

One of My Favorite Songs

   This is one of my favorite songs right now for this season of my life.

Casting Crowns - Praise You In This Storm

http://www.youtube.com/

 

Reasons to Love a Soldier :)

   I got this from a friend's facebook who stole it from someone so I don't know where it orginated but I loved it so now I'm claiming it for my blog.
Reasons to Love a Soldier:
-Always looks good in uniform
-Pretrained to obey order
...-Can make a meal out of anything
-Knows how to handle his equipment
-Carries a big gun
-Great at night maneuvers
-Can fix anything
-Knows how to do laundry
-Can sleep anywhere
Because he is my Hero!

Nothing Exciting to Report

   We started off this week on a good foot. I can tell life is going to be fast paced for the next several months during football. We get to meet my oldest son's teacher tomorrow so he and I are excited about that. I hope everyone has a good week.

Regain control of my house and life.

   This past week has been busy as usual. However, I accomplished the main goal I wanted to, which was to start to get into a routine with daily life. This week my goal is to regain control of my house. I've gotten to the point of too busy but I don't know that there is anywhere to cut back. My oldest son starts school this week so that will be another added piece to getting our routine going again. My youngest son is struggling some in school so I hope to come up with a solution to that this week. But ultimately I plan on tackling the growing laundry pile and divide and conquer by taking over one room at a time. With all that said I thoroughly enjoyed my weekend of hanging out with some special people. Saturday was Nathan's second football scrimmage so I hung out with my mother-in-law there. I love how she makes it a point to come to all his games. Then my fellow army wife friend who is in town from out of state stopped by for a short visit and didn't mind the disarray that my house was in (and it really didn't matter to me either, it's kind of like having family over). After that, I got to go out on a girl's night with one of my friends and meet some new people. I ended up meeting an air force wife which was interesting. Of course today was church, where I got to hang out with some wonderful kiddos during service and share my heart with someone that genuinely listened. And to round off the weekend I met up with my army wife support group and had a back to school bash cookout. There is just something about getting together with others that are going through the same thing that is comforting. Plus, I love how my kids get to meet and hang out with other kids that have their Dad's deployed too. So even though, I'm a little sad I didn't conquer the growing laundry pile at my house this weekend as much as I would normally, I sure am thankful for some great fellowship along this journey of deployment.

Why I Don't Post Everyday.

   I started this blog on the first of January 2011 with the intention of blogging everyday through December 31st 2011 and most likely longer. However, I did not realize how difficult this deployment would be when I initiated this blog, so therefore, I have needed to take some sanity breaks, sometimes just because of vacations and things, other times just because I was exhausted and didn't feel up to it, and other times because I didn't really want to write what I was thinking and feeling. However, I still think I've only missed a handful of days maybe a week or two at most in seven months is pretty good, especially when it's purely my own motivation to do this :) And for anyone that cares to know I am a pretty optimistic person, but this deployment has also made me face the reality and not hide in my own little denial corner. It's kind of hard to do that with the things we are facing this time around.
   I find hope in my relationship with Jesus, my family and my friends, and just getting through the daily tasks knowing I'm doing the best job back here at home. However, with all that said there are some pretty hard topics that my family and the other families of our deployed soldiers this time are facing and I think those thoughts need to be expressed too. So what it's worth I'm going to continue what I'm doing, if you like it, read it, if not, it won't offend me for you to hide me :) Thanks all, have a good night sleep, know that my husband is defending your freedom.

Talk with my Mom!

   I've learned that it's not always healthy for me to say everything I'm thinking, although this is a hard thing for me to put into practice, especially when I am particularly passionate about something. Right now, with all the things going on overseas it's difficult to put my feelings into words. It's a big roller coaster and a lot of the things I want to say probably are not the safe things. Sometimes I need to vent and get it out of my system. Today my Mom did something for me that I appreciate, she let me talk and feel heard. So many times I feel invisible, like people don't care, or at the very least don't know what to say. After all, war and having a husband in harm's way isn't exactly small talk or ice breaker material. However, I can't keep all my feelings bottled up or one of these days they will just explode. And for all of us (because I'm one of them too) that complain or simply understand that our families don't really get this military life, and let's face it, they don't unless they've lived it themselves sometimes a simple listening ear goes a long way. I think though my Mom has learned over these last three deployments what can and cannot be helpful. I sure am thankful for the support of my parents. I must say I feel grateful for such supportive parents of this life that Adam and I have chosen even though it's so much more than we knew (or he knew when he initially signed up). And that's saying a lot since they were both brought up pacificist.

A Song for today.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWrMeBR8W-c

Sisterhood

   Another busy day, nothing exciting going on here. Although I did get to talk to an army wife today that I've been friends with for about seven years. I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to share my frustrations with someone that gets it. We may not be exactly alike (because I'm sure we've got differences) but we share a history and we've been through a lot of the same things and sometimes that's almost like family, or if you will, the family I've chosen for my own (it's a different kind of sisterhood) :)

Busy!

Whew, I hit the ground running and never stopped today. Time for some sleep.

Routine

   I'm looking forward to starting this week off and getting back into a routine here at our house. Off to bed for me so I can wake up ready to start the week off on a good foot.

Weekend!

We had a really productive day and also relaxing :) After jumping back into life right after vacation we need this weekend to help us catch up on some rest. Nathan had his first scrimmage too and he played quite a bit and had a lot of fun. I even took an hour nap! On to another productive and relaxing day tomorrow. I'm going to bed to try and catch up on some more sleep.

What a Week!

   It's been a very busy week and I'm just thankful Friday is here. It was a week of new beginnings and transitions. Jacob started pre kindergarten this week. Nathan had his first football practice and has his first scrimmage tomorrow morning bright and early. So many things I want to get done this weekend but what I really need is some relaxation and some quite time to sit time and read a good book. Maybe if I can get it all done?! Ha, like that would ever happen. Hope everyone has a great weekend! Take time to enjoy your family and loved ones in whatever you are doing. I wish my hubby was here for all these firsts.

Saw this on a friend's fb today......

Need I Say More?

http://www.newson6.com/story/15220493/deadliest-week-for-oklahoma-soldiers-in-afghanistan

Isolation

   More bad news. I think it's time for some isolation. In all honesty, I know that would be extremely unhealthy but it's just my feelings these days. I don't think humans are made for this sort of news day in and day out. Lord, be my strength.
Isaiah 40:28-29
Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.

29He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

Not Much To Say.....

   I took a day off from blogging yesterday. I'm having a difficult time dealing with the losses we are incurring overseas. I needed a break to just focus on me and my kiddos. However, this morning I was informed that we lost another one of our guys. This of course hits even closer to home. Praying for the families of these guys. There are no words. Trying to combat the fear that next time it could be our family to have to deal with this.
John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Hanging onto these words of hope for now.

Family

   So last night was difficult, no doubt about it. However, today I'm trying to get back on a more positive side. Which actually makes me feel a little guilty for the hearts of the families that I'm sure are breaking today. Knowing myself though, I just have to keep pushing on, or else I won't be any good for myself, my hubby, or my kids. I'm visiting my hubby's family in Canada and enjoying just hanging out with them and letting my boys play with their cousin. Although parenting on vacation without my hubby can be some what exhausting. At least I'm blessed with a great family on his side. I hear lots of story about in laws but I must say I value the relationship I have with my hubby's family. Family is family no matter how close or far you live from each other.

Wanting My Hubby to Come Home Now

   Just found out that my hubby's group had two guys killed yesterday. All I want is for him to come home now! I know if he was here or could talk to me right now though he would say "Jess, this is what we do and we know what we are up against." I had a talk to him about this before this deployment. So strong, so confident, not sure if that is how he always feels, but that is how he presents himself. Missing my man and wishing I could talk to him once more. But standing firm knowing that God has him in his hands and the rest of those overseas. Also praying for the families of the guys that won't make it home this time.

Transitions

   I'm not much of a transition person. My youngest son just finished two years at the same daycare and is getting ready to start pre k. It's not that I mind that he is growing up some more, that is unavoidable and I enjoy my boys as they go through life at different stages. They all come with their pros and cons. I'm just not much of a goodbye person. They tend to make me cry and I'm not much of a public crier so that makes me uncomfortable.
   I still remember when I left my first professional job to head back home during the last deployment. I cried at the staff meeting saying goodbye to everybody, then I cried saying goodbye to all my clients, and of course I cried as I pulled away from my home in OK to head back to Pa. There are good and bad in transitions and I'm a positive person and like to see the good in things but I just really don't like goodbyes. I suspect because I've had my fair share of them that they just get to me, which I'm not to emotional, or at least, tend not to show it, so that puts me in an awkward state.
   Anyways, my son's teacher said one of the sweetest compliments I have received as I told her goodbye this morning, "Your boys have been great to work with (she had both of them) and you've been a wonderful parent to work with too". You see I'm the one that is working with parents on my side and more often than not it can be challenging and I want everyone to know no matter what professional goals I have and am and will always be working towards, my kiddos and family always come first.
   And I really am looking forward to this next season with my youngest son being at my school with the same teacher big brother had for pre k. It's just a little bittersweet.

Missed Phone Calls

   I hate missed phone calls from my hubby. However, it's a little inevitable when I don't have my phone strapped to me. And at times even when I do. I missed a phone call one Saturday morning when I was cleaning the house. It turned out the volume was turned all the way down. Go figure. Another time, I was in the middle of checking our school group into the zoo and didn't make it to my phone which was in the bottom of my purse. And then the other night he called me after I had just fallen to sleep for about an hour, not sure what happened that time, guess I was passed out from the activity of the day. Anyways, it's inevitable but I still don't like it. And I'm sure my hubby doesn't like it either. But what is worst then the actual missed phone call is that I can't pick up the phone and call him whenever I want, or even just return a phone call that I missed whatever the reason. Missing my hubby tonight and wish I could call him.

New Beginnings

   Tonight I took my youngest school shopping. He starts pre k this school year. I'm excited about this new season. It's amazing that we are already at this point but it's also very exciting!

Army Wife Moto

    I bought a shirt this past weekend at the deployment yellow ribbon training. It's an army wife motto that I think is very fitting. I don't know who wrote it but I like it and am adopting it as my own as I'm sure there are lots of other army wives that feel the same.

The Silent Ranks

I wear no uniform, no camouflage,

blues or army greens

But I am in the Military in the ranks rarely seen

I have no rank upon my shoulders - salutes I do not give

But the military world is the place where I live

I'm not in the chain of command, orders I do not get

I'm not the one who fires the weapons,

who puts my life on the line

But my job is just as tough. I'm the one that's left behind

My husband is a patriot, a brave and prideful man

And the call to serve his country not all can understand

Behind the lines I see the things needed to keep this country free

My husband makes the sacrifice, but so do our kids and me

I love the man I married,

the Military is his life

But I stand among the silent ranks known as the....

Army Wife

Phone Calls in the Middle of the Night

   So last night I got a call in the middle of the night, well early morning, but it felt like I had just fallen asleep. In general, as humans, I think it is instinctual to feel like someone is hurt or in trouble if we get a call in the middle of the night. However, when you are going through a deployment a phone call is worth it, even if it is in the middle of the night. On the other hand, that doesn't mean I'm comprehending much of the conversation when this happens. It doesn't help that my hubby is in the middle of his day and wide awake. And then trying to go back to sleep after the abrupt call is a whole other story. And to top it off, last night, my hubby asked me if everything was okay, if there was anything I needed. My mind was already muddled from being awaken from a deep sleep but my honest reply was that "Nathan is having some crying spells again but there isn't anything you can do about that." Anyways, I'll take phone calls whenever my hubby chooses to call me I just can't promise that I'll make much sense on the other side of the line in the middle of the night. Just hearing his voice makes me smile though so it's all worth it :)

FRG and All That Jazz

   Today I went to a deployment briefing. I was actually impressed with all the resources and information that was shared there. The military has really stepped up their family support component since the last deployment. Although it's hard for me to really say because I was out of state for the last one so I kept in contact through phone and computer. It's different face to face. I'm excited to get my face out there and get to know more army spouses. I'm learning even more these days some experiences you take away what you are willing to put in.

Friends, Family, and Babysitters

   I'm blessed with great friends, responsible babysitters for the boys, and a family that will do most anything for me and the boys. So thankful for such a great support system in my life. It makes deployments doable and sometimes even enjoyable :)

care package

   I sent my first care package to my hubby this deployment. This is not my strong point but he requested some boots so I sent them and a few other things. I won't spoil it on the off chance that he reads this blog. However, I must say my experience at the post office was pretty good. I had a bad experience on our first deployment and that doesn't make me very excited about going there but hopefully this will help ease my mind for future trips.

Memories!

   Too much to do on my to do list. So you asked what did I spend my time doing tonight? Going through pictures of course! I just got a bunch of pictures for my current scrapbook that I'm working on which is from 2007-2008, our 2nd deployment: Iraq. Call me weird but I enjoy looking through all those pictures and remembering how we made it through that time. I even met some great people that I wouldn't have unless it was for that deployment. I especially like looking at our reunion pictures. Looking forward to our reunion from this deployment, ah, if it wasn't so far away. Oh well, another day down!

Work

   Not much going on here. This heat is exhausting but we are hanging in there.

Sometimes it's the simple things......

   Today was  a good day. It was refreshing to just hang out with the boys and relax. We went to church this morning where I played with some of the babies. After church, we headed to McDonald's to use the first of their library coupons. They are very proud of their coupons they earned. Then we headed to the pool but ended up getting there an hour before it opened up so we took a detour and went to the splash pad for a little bit and then went back to the pool. They wrestled and jumped on each other almost the whole time at the pool. They should sleep good tonight.
   During one of the more quite parts of our time at the pool they both informed me that they want to be teachers when they grow up. Nathan has been on this kick for quite a while about being a teacher when he gets older. I asked Jacob what he wanted to be and I think he was just going along with big brother. Anyways, I thought it was cute. They both are talking about going to college already, that is kind of scary, but good to hear them thinking that way. Nathan was asking me about how old he has to be to drive a car too. Suddenly I'm seeing life flash before my eyes, and I'm thinking slow down. I'm sure glad I take the opportunity to do things with my boys as they are growing up because one day they will be out of the house but for now I'm enjoying each season and stage. In the process of our conversation Nathan asked me, "Mommy how many times have you been married?" I couldn't help myself I laughed out loud. I said once, and once is enough for Mommy. Jacob proceeded to tell us both that I wasn't married because he didn't remember me getting married. I guess if it happened before him it doesn't count, that could be scary! These moments make me smile! There really never is a dull moment when it comes to having kids.

50/50

   Today I went to a FRG event (Family Readiness Group), basically a support group for the family while our guys are overseas. This is our third deployment but my first time being involved with the FRG. The first deployment I was a girlfriend/fiance. The second deployment I moved back home to Pennsylvania to be with my family. This deployment I've kind of started my own support group. Their are advantages and disadvantages to both. I'm hoping to get to know more of the FRG ladies throughout this deployment. We'll see how this all goes.

Take it or Leave it

   Tonight I got to get take out for dinner and the boys had sandwiches (without cheese). No, I did not go out and leave them with a babysitter that just happened to forget to put cheese on their sandwiches (which I think would be hard to do anyways). This was their consequences for their behavior at the store when I was running errands. I'm not sure where I would rate myself on the patient factor, probably a 5 if it were a scale of 1-10.
   I ran a lot of errands today, most of them before I picked the kids up. However, I had a few things to do after I got them. I decided to finish them, pick up dinner, and then watch a movie with the kids at home. My boys are four and six, this should be an easy enough task to accomplish. We even got root beer floats at the daycare before we left to do errands. The first stop was my job to get a little bit of paperwork done. This may sound boring, however, since I work with kids, we have a TV where they can play Mario Kart, if they earn a reward so I let the boys play that while I did some paperwork. That went pretty smooth. Next stop was Lowe's for some miracle growth for my flowers. My six year old attempted to climb in the cart to sit. He's to big for this and I made it very clear that he was not going to be able to sit in it. He proceeded to have a fit, arms crossed, crying and pouting that he can't get in the cart. I had also brought the boys iPhones (which have games on them) to play while I was getting my errands done. So I simply took this and told him if he didn't get his behavior back in line that he was not going to earn dinner or a movie. He barely restrained himself and got his behavior back in check.
   Next was Target for some curtain rods (I know our life is so exciting!). Anyways, my six year old decided to try and look at his brothers phone since he had lost his at the prior store. Jacob, my four year old proceeded to rub it in Nathan's face that he had his phone and big brother didn't (ha, ha I get to play and you don't). While my older son walked around the kart trying to get a better view. Then they proceeded to go back and forth about who started what and who did what. I proceeded to stop in the middle of the aisle and tell them that there will be no dinner out and that we will go home to eat. This of course didn't go to well with them. They continued to talk about underwear (which we were buying for them) and laughing and giggling between themselves. So I opted to take their movie away and have already threatened them that if they don't earn it tomorrow afternoon that I will take it back unwatched. I'm not paying an extra dollar for their bad behavior!
   When we got to the car I had a talk with them about their behavior which succeeded with quite from both of them. They knew Mommy was not happy! However, on my way home I was thinking "why should I have to pay for their behavior?" I happened to have had a very productive day, getting a lot accomplished (most of which were for them). So I stopped and got take out for myself! I'm hoping this lesson gets through to them. There now I feel better! And I still get to watch my movie tonight :)